Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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