only if we run a train.
done.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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