And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
