Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
