So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
