I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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