P.S. I can't hear my feet
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
