party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
