All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
