At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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