i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
