I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
