hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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