OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
