I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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