you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize