Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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