she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
