Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Such a big mess for such a small penis
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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