My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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