Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
