Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
