Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
