I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am available for nakedness
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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