Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
