I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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