i think i have two assholes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
