That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize