He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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