i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
