Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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