So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize