i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
