I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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