We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
