We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
