Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize