well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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