ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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