The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize