she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
