I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
