do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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