I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
