you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize