My friends, they love my intelligence
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
