It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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