I wish i was in the wii world.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
