Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
