I wish they made helmets for livers.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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