her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
