Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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