If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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