i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
