I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize