idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize