i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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