So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Panties = found
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
