Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
