It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
