If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
