his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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