Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
honey bunches of taint.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
