Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
