More tranny stories later!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
