then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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