question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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