Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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