I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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